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Note 142: At This Crossing

  

At this crossing a red sphere allows you to go west

Strung high up so you can see from a distance

Two if you were going east you were clear

Three to the north and four to the south

Not four signals, three lights each, or four —

Every little back road crossing has some sort

Of sign, usually red STOP.

But if you’re highballing fourteen thousand

Tons of coal you don’t want to stop

Or slow down If you don’t have to

And you give no quarter.

  

75, long haul, mid-afternoon, light traffic

You

Jerk

Right in front of me!

No signal

⇔ Forcing my brakes ⇔

At 60 the same rate as the car

You’re putatively passing

Lumbering acceleration

Then sit in the left

Lane when you clear it

And speed up

To 80

To block me

From passing.

  

No rules?

No quarter.

With sufficient nerve

Maybe you could

Keep me behind you.

But no.

See my middle finger

As I shoot by ?

Close,

Almost cut you

Off — I could

If I wanted —

Drop back down

To 75

As you fade

In my rear view mirror.

  

What does this game bring you?

I’d bet most just let you win.

Excitement? Feelings of power?

Sadistic pleasure?

Why does this farce

So petty

So insignificant

Make me want to kill you?

And why don’t I

Just let you win?

  

  

Note 133: (Narrative Sketch): Chopsticks

  

“You like sake!,” in heavily Japanese-accented English.
“Yes, I like sake,” looking into her eyes, showing mirth
Just short of smiling, trying to put some gravel in his
Self-diagnosed overly smooth voice. The third
Decanter. Tromacali hadn’t shown. She was undependable.
Hollywood. Waited for 2 hours after hitchhiking for
5 hours to get there, and she didn’t make the date.
He understood that it wasn’t because she wasn’t
In love with him. She was. But she lived more according
To ideas of things, of what she thought she needed
To experience, than by the way she felt in her heart,
Though nearly everything she thought she needed was
A hedonistic pleasure, with the limits ever expanding.
He had pretty much mastered the chopsticks now.
And he discovered that he liked sushi nearly as much
As he liked warm nihonshu. He had some cash from
Restringing a 7-foot Yamaha grand, so he thought he’d
Take Tromacali out bar hopping, but someone else must have
Invited her before he was able to get there. He walked
Up and down Hollywood Blvd. for a long while, stopped
At the big news stand and hit a couple book stores,
Then saw Japonica Japanese restaurant, a clean,
Well lighted place that seemed exotic. He decided
That this would be a good time to learn how to use
Chopsticks. Though he was under age, it was rare
For someone to ask him for ID when he bought
Alcoholic drinks so… “sake,” which he’d never tried,
Then awabi “barbecued,” on fire, sake
Flavor and abalone flesh, served in a conch
Shell, rice, lots of rice, anothel pot of lice, prease,
Ikura, salmon eggs, shii-take; tako with
Eight arms here resilient slices, possibly his
Favorite, uni, Italian delicacy for old men
To retain virility, gonads of sea urchin; tuna
Aka-mi, chuu-toro, o’o-toro; kappa-maki
Reminded him. Airline pilot, when Rhosonny
Had finished regulating his piano, brought out a
Tray of Johnnie Walker Black and toasted
Nori, both new to Rhosonny, both instantly
Liked, never forgotten. The pilot told him,
Though he’d never tried it, that the polite
Way is to eat sushi with one’s fingers, not
Chopsticks (though I believe this is now
Deemed “over polite”), so Rhosonny
Ate the sushi with his fingers, and taught
Himself how to use chopsticks
On the sashimi, tempura, and rice.

  

Rhosonny could consume large amounts
Of food without feeling full or gaining weight,
“The Human Garbage Disposal” his mother
Called him, for his habit, once everyone else
In the family had eaten, of finishing off all of the
Leftovers at the same sitting. And alcohol?
His introduction to whiskey was up in the hills.
Fred Cardsdale had come back from Nam without
One of his legs from the knee down, and with a new
Improved plastic throat from the day he got
Fragged on patrol. Once when a cop was about to
Arrest him for public drunkeness, Fred unstrapped
His leg and threw it at the cop. In stead of arresting
Him, the cop decided to just give him a ride home.
Fred knew how to take advantage of a disability,
And Fred liked to drink. A group of high-school kids
Would pool their money and give it to Fred, who would
Buy several bottles of cheap whiskey and challenge
Anybody to out chug whiskey against him. Most kids
Couldn’t even get half way through a pint. Fred’s
Formidable plastic throat allowed him to pour
The stuff practically straight into his stomach.
Rhosonny decided to practice in secret. One night
He challenged Fred to a chug contest and (a game
Well attested in the Icelandic Sagas. Egil, if I recall
Correctly, lost such a contest because his hosts
Watered their own drinks but not his — and his
Hangover in the morning was unacceptable, so he
Killed them all – and Rhosonny was at least half
Norweigan) tied Fred for the draining of a
Fifth of whiskey (unknown brand), which meant
He who vomited first lost. Rhosonny
Had eaten an enormous pot roast dinner
While Fred had likely eaten little or nothing.
Rhosonny waited for Fred to puke, then
Immediately followed suit. He was proud that he
Had been able to challenge such a tough guy
By the tough guy’s own rules. He’d always felt
That he, himself, was too soft, too smooth, too feminine,
Too sensitive, too accommodating, too polite,
Not butch enough. But a few days later
He regretted it. Fred didn’t have much to live for.
Getting free whisky by illegal buys and chugging
Was much of his life, and it was the one place
He reigned supreme. Rhosonny regretted having
Hurt him in this way. But he could hold liquor.

  

That party they gave his mother at the American
Legion bar, drinking scotch and soda after scotch and
Soda… Everyone knew he was under age, but he was
Naomi’s son, so they let it slide but she asked the
Bartender to keep an eye on the 17 yr old boy.
Later she told Rhosonny, “I’m mad at him for giving
You too much to drink.” Rhosonny said, oh,
I didn’t know it would cause him a problem.”
Naomi said, “He said you drank them like water
And, since he couldn’t see any change in you,
He figured that they weren’t having any effect,
But I know how drunk you got.”
She should know. She’d had a hard day.
When he got home from school, she was
Sitting at the kitchen table with two
Fifths of light rum. “One of these is yours.”
It took them several hours, but they drained both.
He was 15. Now, only close friends could tell he was
Drunk. Even then, they would only conclude that
He was drunk by his dulled intelligence, not
By his speech, which was never slurred or distorted,
Or by facial or body movements, which he kept
Frozen in a stone bust or Noh mask: people only
Asked him if he was stoned or drunk when
he was stone cold sober.

  

Sake by sake, fish by fish, rice by rice,
Rhosonny learned to control Japanese chop sticks.
After the fourth decanter, after the plates were all
Empty, Rhosonny bowed and smiled politely
At everyone in the room, which was mostly staff,
Who also bowed and smiled big smiles and
Let him know that they would like him to come back
Anytime. Then he stepped outside and started
Walking toward the freeway on-ramp to hitchhike home.

  

Note 112: Prometheus Later

Trees? Titans. Silent? Sub- and super- sonic tuned
by branches sprouting trees in the sky, groves in the canopy.

Click to continue reading “Note 112: Prometheus Later”

Note 83: Narrative sketch: “Teen Challenge”

He had no idea
why they made him go to these.
He didn’t have the slightest intention
of taking drugs.
He was a “good” kid.
Polite. Well spoken.
A reader. Preferred the
company of girls
to that of boys,
which worried his father
and a couple of teachers,
never part of a crowd
because always new to
the crowd from forever.

He’d rather stay up all night
working through Martin Gardner’s
“Mathematical Games” in
Scientific American (this was before
they dumbed it down
than go to a party or
hang out with a group.

But he had to go, so he went.
Besides, it was during school.
This isn’t to say he was obedient,
or that he never did anything
he was forbidden to do,
in fact he often did, but was
very good at not getting caught.
Even so, there were those
in the current school administration
who seemed to have his number.
While most of the other kids
either fully complied or
openly rebelled, he argued the
point with anyone who interfered
with his behavior, seeking to prove
that it was his right to act in this way. So they
had the quasi Christian group
“Teen Challenge” come
and talk to all of them, I mean the whole
school. This was what? ’69..? 8th grade.

Fascinating stuff. They brought

kids in little groups one by one
to talk about their experiences
with drugs, letting us know that
drugs were a big mistake,
a very bad thing, the devil’s work,
and they wished they’d never
taken any. But Jesus forgave them.

Hearing a bunch of kids
on more than one occaision
talk about speed and LSD
was very interesting to him. Very.
Rhosonny Jerkedjiff — virtually all kids
thought his name was funny and frequently
laughed at it — found himself
working to get a clear distinction
between, a full understanding of
both speed and LSD.
The more they talked, the more
he thought. The more he thought
the closer he got to requiring
directly perceivable definitions
about the drugs. Yeah, the
chemical formulas, whatever –
no — that’s not what he was looking for –
he wanted to know the
experiential difference.

Lugging his math text, history text,
big binder, and English text under one arm
he saw Jimmy. Jimmy was a year older
than anyone in Rhosonny’s class,
a tough guy. “Excuse me, Jimmy,” he said.
“Yeah, what?”
“Can you get me some LSD?”
Jimmy starts laughing.
“No, seriously”
“Yeah? Got fifty cents?
Here.” Handing over a small
orange pill, B-12 size or so.
“Is it really strong? I mean,
should I just take half?”
“No man, go ahead, just take
the whole thing.”

He popped it in his mouth.
One class left for the day: History, i.e.
American history as told by a major
text book manufacturer. He went
to class and sat in the back
and the desktops became a
single coherent plane of blond wood
bright and shimmering
not so much changing colors
as changing frequencies
and the other kids were
strange beings, only the
half of them above the desk
visible on the wood plane,
the teacher walking around the room
cut off at the waist by this solid
and infinite lake of desks.
He was riveted, an attentive student.

On the way home he realized that
the blacktop of the streets
is written in some kind of character-
based language, similar to Chinese,
and thought that just possibly he could
figure out for himself how to read it, so the
few blocks home took quite a while
to traverse since it was little more
than a larger sample of this mysterious
language from block to block. The entire world
was inside a gigantic ship hangar
on an enclosed harbor
with ceiling fans the size of moons
hidden behind round grates that
pulsed and purred. Lying on the carpet
in his bedroom, hand on the floor
a ripple in the liquid carpet came toward
his hand, and his hand felt it ripple
underneath it. And the kids playing
handball with a big round ball
against a garage door across the street
streamed off in perfectly timed echoes to interact
with the waves and the tides.

Next day, “Jimmy, do you have any speed?”
“Speed? You just bought acid.”
“Yeah, it was great. I loved it. Now
I want to try speed.”
“Really? You liked it?”
Effusions, incredulity,
descriptions, a slow dawning…
“Wow, man. That was a 4-way hit
of sunshine, I figured it would flip
you out.”
“No!” Effusions.

Then the speed. More carnal but
less sensual. Being
part of the higher order of things
benevolently engaging with others
until you start coming down….

So that:

acid the next day, speed the
next and so on and so on for
for the next 4 years, give or take.

_________________________________

And for now, here ends this section. These are even more like notebook fragments
than usual. But it’s the program I decided to follow: share things as I write them. This one’s in a very early stage of a process. It will grow to much larger proportions.

Note 59: Folly

To write a poem
when one has nothing to say
is folly.

Not to write a poem
when one has said one would
is folly.

Converging dualities
express the nature
of reality.


#twitpoem #pmppd (poetry month poem per day) poem 26

Note 44: After Which

#twitpoem #pmppd (poetry month poem per day)

poem 11

After the last numerical aspect of the image, digitized to binary, shades of black and white represented by red, green, and blue and ratios set in pixels for all to see on planes of electrically generated light in patterns where we find meaning had been set, I made a 6-cup espresso, put on boots, sweatshirt, ski jacket, and cap and stepped outside into what seemed like total darkness but for streetlights on the other block and a neighbor’s porch light. After opening the shrine-room door and turning on a halogen light to face the crack, I sat in on a metal chair outside and listened to the near silence, even though a major highway is only a block away. After a while a car went by on a near block, then was gone, and I listened. This happened several times in the course of several minutes. After which I opened up my notebook and started writing this which I am now writing. Then I wrote:

Populated dark,
silence nearly total:
an automobile
muffles rubber wheels on past.
after which no sound.

Pastoral Echoes: Theocritus, Virgil, Spenser, Journey to the West

While reading  Journey to the West, Chapter10 this morning, my mind drifted into an echo chamber of Theocritus’ Idyll V and Idyll VI, Virgil’s Eclgogue 3 and Eclogue 7, and Edmund Spenser’s The Shepheardes Calender, “August“.

Theocritus’ Idylls (“I”) are the fountain head of the western tradition of pastoral poetry; Virgil’s Eclogues (“E”) the most influential single text in that tradition; and Spenser’s Shepheardes Calendar (“SC”) the the most influential text for English-language pastoral poetry.

Fortunately, all of these texts are available online in one version or another. The translation of Chapter 10 of Journey to the West (“JTW”) that I was reading this morning is the same translation as that linked above.

The similarities between Chapter 10 of JTW on one hand (“East”) and the specified poems from I, E, and SC on the other (“West”) are very interesting. But the differences within the similarities intrigue me even more. This is a topic that I intend to revisit in detail at some future time, though a real study may require more than a single blog post. For now, a single glance will suffice to get anyone interested started toward investigating this further for him or her self.

Similarities: the subject matter is the rural environment; poems are sent back and forth in a kind of dialog; poets are competing with each other.

Differences: the West competitions are competitions for who is the better poet-singer while the East competition is for who has a better life.West are all in verse, East shifts back and forth between prose and verse.

The similarities and differences above are oversimplifications. West includes elements of “life competition” ane East has elements of “poetry competition” but they split in general tendency.

Examples for comparison:

Journey to the West, Chapter 10

We shall not discuss how Chen Guangrui performed his duties or Xuanzang cultivated his conduct. Instead we shall talk about two wise men who lived beside the banks of the River Jing outside the city of Chang’an. One was an old fisherman called Zhang Shao and the other was a woodcutter called Li Ding. They were both advanced scholars who had never taken the official examination, lettered men of the mountains. One day, when Li Ding had sold his load of firewood and Zhang Shao had sold his basketful of carp in Chang’an city, they went into a tavern, drank till they were half tipsy, and strolled slowly home along the banks of the Jing, each holding a bottle in his hand.

“Brother Li,” said Zhang Shao, “it seems to me that people who struggle for fame kill themselves for it; those who compete for profit die for it; those who accept honors sleep with a tiger in their arms; and those who receive imperial favours walk around with snakes in their sleeves. Taking all in all, we are much better off living free among our clear waters and blue hills: we delight in our poverty and follow our destinies.”

“You are right, Brother Zhang,” said Li Ding, “but your clear waters have nothing on my blue hills.”

“Your blue hills are not a patch on my clear waters,” retorted Zhang Shao, “and here is a lyric to the tune of The Butterfly Loves the Flowers to prove it:

The skiff is tiny amid the misty expanse of waves;
Calmly I lean against the single sail,
Listening to the voice of Xishi the beauty.
My thoughts and mind are cleared; I have no wealth or fame
As I toy with the waterweed and the rushes.

To count a few gulls makes the journey happy.
In the reedy bend, under the willow bank,
My wife and children smile with me.
The moment I fall asleep, wind and waves are quiet;
No glory, no disgrace, and not a single worry.

“Your clear waters are no match for my blue hills,” said Li Ding, “and there is another lyric to the same tune to prove it. It goes:

The cloudy woods are covered with pine blossom.
Hush! Hear the oriole sing,
As if it played a pipe with its cunning tongue.
With touches of red and ample green the spring is warm;
Suddenly the summer’s here as the seasons turn.

When autumn comes the look of things is changed;
The scented chrysanthemum
Is enough for my pleasure.
Soon the cruel winter plucks all off.
I am free through four seasons, at nobody’s beck and call.

[And so forth for many pages...]

Theocritus, Idyll 5

COMATAS
[1] Beware, good my goats, of yonder shepherd from Sybaris, beware of Lacon; he stole my skin-coat yesterday.

LACON
[4] Hey up! my pretty lambkins; away from the spring. See you not Comatas that stole my pipe two days agone?

COMATAS
[6] Pipe? Sibyrtas’ bondman possessed of a pipe? he that was content to sit with Corydon and too t upon a parcel o’ straws?

LACON
[8] Yes, master freeman, the pipe Lycon gave me. And as for your skin-coat, what skin-coat and when has ever Lacon carried off o’ yours? Tell me that, Comatas; why, your lord Eumaras, let alone his bondman, never had one even to sleep in.

COMATAS
[11] ‘Tis that Crocylus gave me, the dapple skin, after that he sacrificed that she-goat to the Nymphs. And as your foul envious eyes watered for it then, so your foul envious hands have bid me go henceforth naked now.

LACON
[14] Nay, nay by Pan o’ the Shore; Lacon son of Calaethis never filched coat of thine, fellow, may I run raving mad else and leap into the Crathis from yonder rock.

COMATAS
[17] No, no, by these Nymphs o’ the lake, man; so surely as I wish ‘em kind and propitious, Comatas never laid sneaking hand on pipe o’ thine.

LACON
[20] Heaven send me the affliction of Daphnis if e’er I believe that tale. But enough of this; if thou’lt wage me a kid – ‘tis not worth the candle, but nevertheless come on; I’ll have a contention o’ song with thee till thou cry hold.

[and so forth]

Theocritus, Idyll 6

[1] Damoetas and neatherd Daphnis, Aratus, half-bearded one, the other’s chin ruddy with the down, had driven each his herd together to a single spot at noon of a summer’s day, and sitting them down side by side at a water-spring began to sing. Daphnis sang first, for from hi came the challenge:

[6] See Cyclops! Galatéa’s at thy flock with apples, see!
The apples1 fly, and she doth cry ‘A fool’s-in-love are ye’;
But with never a look to the maid, poor heart, thou sit’st and pipest so fine.
Lo yonder again she flings them amain at that good flock-dog o’ thine!
See how he looks to seaward and bays her from the land!
See how he’s glassed2 where he runs so fast i’ the pretty wee waves o’ the strand!
Beware of he’ll leap as she comes from the deep, leap on her legs so bonny,
And towse her sweet pretty flesh – But lo where e’en now she wantons upon ye!
O the high thistle-down and the dry thistle-down i’ the heat o’the pretty summer O! –
She’ll fly ye and deny ye if ye’ll a-wooing go,
But cease to woo and she’ll pursue, aye, then the king’s3 the move;
For oft the foul, good Polypheme, is fair i’ the eyes of love.

[20] Then Damoetas in answer lifted up his voice, singing:

[21] I saw, I saw her fling them, Lord Pan my witness be;
I was not blind, I vow, by this my one sweet – this
Wherewith Heav’n send I see to the end, and Télemus4 when he
Foretells me woe, then be it so, but woe for him and his! – ;
‘Tis tit for tat, to tease her on I look not on the jade
And say there’s other wives to wed, and lo! she’s jealous made,
Jealous for me, Lord save us! and ‘gins to pine for me
And glowers from the deep on the cave and the sheep like a want-wit lass o’ the sea
And the dog that bayed, I hissed him on; for when ‘twas I to woo
He’ld lay his snout to her lap, her lap, and whine her friendly to.
Maybe she’ll send me messages if long I go this gate;
But I’ll bar the door till she swear o’ this shore to be my wedded mate.
Ill-favoured? nay, for all they say; I have looked i’ the glassy sea,
And, for aught I could spy, both beard and eye were pretty as well could be,
And the teeth all a-row5 like marble below, – and that none should o’erlook me6 of it,
As Goody Cotyttaris taught me, thrice in my breast I spit.

[and so forth]

Virgil, Eclogue III

Menalcas.
Who owns the flock, Damoetas? Meliboeus?

Damoetas.
Nay, they are Aegon’s sheep, of late by him
Committed to my care.

Menalcas.
O every way
Unhappy sheep, unhappy flock! while he
Still courts Neaera, fearing lest her choice
Should fall on me, this hireling shepherd here
Wrings hourly twice their udders, from the flock
Filching the life-juice, from the lambs their milk.

Damoetas.
Hold! not so ready with your jeers at men!
We know who once, and in what shrine with you-
The he-goats looked aside- the light nymphs laughed-

Menalcas.
Ay, then, I warrant, when they saw me slash
Micon’s young vines and trees with spiteful hook.

Damoetas.
Or here by these old beeches, when you broke
The bow and arrows of Damon; for you chafed
When first you saw them given to the boy,
Cross-grained Menalcas, ay, and had you not
Done him some mischief, would have chafed to death.

Menalcas.
With thieves so daring, what can masters do?
Did I not see you, rogue, in ambush lie
For Damon’s goat, while loud Lycisca barked?
And when I cried, “Where is he off to now?
Gather your flock together, Tityrus,”
You hid behind the sedges.

Damoetas.
Well, was he
Whom I had conquered still to keep the goat.
Which in the piping-match my pipe had won!
You may not know it, but the goat was mine.

[and so forth]

Virgil, Eclogue VII

Daphnis beneath a rustling ilex-tree
Had sat him down; Thyrsis and Corydon
Had gathered in the flock, Thyrsis the sheep,
And Corydon the she-goats swollen with milk-
Both in the flower of age, Arcadians both,
Ready to sing, and in like strain reply.
Hither had strayed, while from the frost I fend
My tender myrtles, the he-goat himself,
Lord of the flock; when Daphnis I espy!
Soon as he saw me, “Hither haste,” he cried,
“O Meliboeus! goat and kids are safe;
And, if you have an idle hour to spare,
Rest here beneath the shade. Hither the steers
Will through the meadows, of their own free will,
Untended come to drink. Here Mincius hath
With tender rushes rimmed his verdant banks,
And from yon sacred oak with busy hum
The bees are swarming.” What was I to do?
No Phyllis or Alcippe left at home
Had I, to shelter my new-weaned lambs,
And no slight matter was a singing-bout
‘Twixt Corydon and Thyrsis. Howsoe’er,
I let my business wait upon their sport.
So they began to sing, voice answering voice
In strains alternate- for alternate strains
The Muses then were minded to recall-
First Corydon, then Thyrsis in reply.

Corydon.
“Libethrian Nymphs, who are my heart’s delight,
Grant me, as doth my Codrus, so to sing-
Next to Apollo he- or if to this
We may not all attain, my tuneful pipe
Here on this sacred pine shall silent hang.”

Thyrsis.
“Arcadian shepherds, wreathe with ivy-spray
Your budding poet, so that Codrus burst
With envy: if he praise beyond my due,
Then bind my brow with foxglove, lest his tongue
With evil omen blight the coming bard.”

Corydon.
“This bristling boar’s head, Delian Maid, to thee,
With branching antlers of a sprightly stag,
Young Micon offers: if his luck but hold,
Full-length in polished marble, ankle-bound
With purple buskin, shall thy statue stand.”

Thyrsis.
“A bowl of milk, Priapus, and these cakes,
Yearly, it is enough for thee to claim;
Thou art the guardian of a poor man’s plot.
Wrought for a while in marble, if the flock
At lambing time be filled,stand there in gold.”

[and so forth]

Spenser, Shepheardes Calendar, “August”

IN this Æglogue is set forth a delectable controuersie, made in imitation of that in Theocritus: whereto also Virgile fashioned his third & seuenth Æglogue. They choose for vmpere of their strife, Cuddie a neatherds boye, who hauing ended their cause, reciteth also himsefe a proper song, whereof Colin he sayth was Authour.
Willye.        Perigot.        Cuddie.TEll me Perigot, what shalbe the game,
Wherefore with myne thou dare thy musick matche?
Or bene thy Bagpypes renne farre out of frame?
Or hath the Crampe thy ioynts benomd with ache?

Perigot.Ah Willye, when the hart is ill assayde,
How can Bagpipe, or ioynts be well apayd?

Willye.What the foule euill hath thee so bestadde?
Whilom thou was peregall to the best,
And wont to make the iolly shepeheards gladde
With pyping and dauncing, didst passe the rest.

Perigot.Ah Willye now I haue learnd a newe daunce:
My old musick mard by a newe mischaunce.

Willye.Mischiefe mought to that newe mischaunce befall,
That hath so raft vs of our meriment.
But reede me, what payne doth thee so appall?
Or louest thou, or bene thy younglings miswent?

Perigot.Loue hath misled both my younglings, and mee:
I pyne for payne, and they my payne to see.

Willye.Perdie and wellawaye: ill may they thriue:
Neuer knewe I louers sheepe in good plight.
But and if rymes with me thou dare striue,
Such fond fantsies shall soone be put to flight.

Perigot.That shall I doe, though mochell worse I fared:
Neuer shall be sayde that Perigot was dared.

[and so forth]

Note 32: No Lamentation

And then
I recognized that
by means
of inconsistent
confidence
the truth of
feelings has
often escaped
my belief even
when able clearly
to see through,
into the heart
of the very one
who seemed
opaque.

The lying
under
magma
of emotional
resonance
and disturbance
is the nearly objective
fact that you know
deep within
yourself that I love you;
you equally well know
that I will not
judge you for being
precisely who
you are when
you are with me;
and believe that I feel
you are charming;
you are brilliant;
you are pornographic;
you are pretty;
you are obedient;
you contain
the concept
“beautiful”;
you are wild
you are free.

For this belief,
that you
hold, and the truth
that brought it
into being,
and by the
simple truth
that you love me,
you were
given space
though only
a brief one
to completely
surrender
to the pleasure
that you felt
but were
previously
just
shy of.

Must I lament
that I couldn’t
believe more
quickly
in the open
nature
of your mind
which I have seen
and known to be
luminous and
expansive?

No.
Why grasp
at empty possibilities
of things that have
passed?

I’ll rejoice
in the feeling
of having
penetrated
deeply
into
your
heart.

Ronald Johnson: Ark I, Beam 3

I KNEW THEN THAT I HAD COME TO A PLACE
— one after another (pale sulphur yellow, pale golden citron)
as a radius of moths, bull’s-eye to light —

months dandelion to the instant

‘cornea’: The horny transparent membrane
in the forpart of the eye
through which the rays of light pass.

‘corona’: A halo or luminous circle — crown — around
one of the heavenly bodies.
A spectre seen during total eclipse of suns
or circumference
of a radiated composite flower.

mind over (under, behind, ahead) matter
fireearthair&water
imagining themselves cornfowers

as seen by man
/of the shuffle, flux to core, the last card turned the first/
‘The Juggler’
shape-shifter/mirror of forms/the ever-
uncoiling, slip-slap quicksilver

A WALKING STREAM

THE WAKING DREAM

“At the same time I saw myself in him, reflected as in a mirror, and it seemed to me that I was looking at myself through his eyes. But another feeling told me there was nothing in front of me but the blue sky and that within myself a window opened…”

through which The Voices called each to each

:       How to explain       :
the blind design,
or make it sane behind its shine?
How to inquire
within the fire?

through which reached a hand to write
where the inner regions, tangled along polarized garland,
turn faster than the outer

Note 10: The Odyssey

(version -0.000198843)

You may have, from among the body of gods
Any of them on your side in one situation and against
In another. Even if a steady, powerful goddess

Say Athena

Were always (basically) on your side
There would be times when she would work
Against you.

Oh, not the personal you
But the you who belongs to a group
A team, a city, a nation, a planet.

When your polis goes against her
Even if you resist them and
Try to slow them down
You will feel the disruption of time.

Each moment is a complex set of values
Now the one dominant, now another
Some nearly perpetual within the brief
Space of a human being’s lifetime.

Take me for instance.
One of the Muses
(I won’t name her)
Has always loved me.

She has even agreed
To bear children for me
Despite the deformities
In my genes.

Yes. All are stillborn.
Worse. Stillborn was
The good choice,
That they weren’t forced
To live among men
Most of whom
Would mock
And ridicule
The poor child.

Her love is a true love.
She enjoys being with me.
I treat her in complex ways.
I touch her.

Yet sometimes she says she’s busy.
She has rites to perform
People to meet
And places to see.

It’s just wretched
The way it feels
And yet
She hasn’t intended to punish me
I just happened to want
The wrong thing
At the wrong time.